- Blonde & Brunette at the Flower Shop
Brunette: “My boyfriend’s getting me flowers again… I’ll be on my back all weekend.”
Blonde: “Don’t you have a vase?”
Why it’s funny: Literal misinterpretation = comedy gold. - Fast at Math
Interviewer: “What’s your strength?”
Candidate: “I’m fast at math.”
“What’s 37×18?”
“247!”
“That’s wrong!”
“But I was fast.”
Prioritizing speed over accuracy—classic misfire humor. - Smartest Man in the World
A lawyer grabs a parachute, claims he’s the smartest, and jumps.
The boy says, “Don’t worry, Father. He took my backpack.”
Arrogance meets karma. - Talking Dog at the Bar
Dog: “Roof!” “Ruff!”
Bartender kicks them out.
Dog: “Should I have said ‘bark’?”
He can talk—he just has bad timing. - Millionaire’s Wife
Wife: “Would she use my golf clubs?”
Husband: “No, she’s left-handed.”
Brutal honesty beats sentimentality. - Genie’s Twist
Man’s final wish? “I want to be beaten half to death.”
Why? So his ex gets double. Savage.
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